Famous Beer Quotes

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
Michelle Mastrolacasa

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
Catherine Zandonella

One more drink and I’d be under the host.
Dorothy Parker

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-His reply

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W.C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but, at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
David Moulton

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
Guzzler, Dave Barry

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I’m lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
Ross Levy

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
Stephen Wright

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
Jack Handy

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
Tom Waits

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Edward Abbey

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
David Daye

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O’Rourke

If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I’d take the nothing…

Draft beer, not people!

Beer – it’s not just for breakfast anymore

Beer: Nature’s laxative.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder.



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